Becoming Human by Jean Vanier

Author:Jean Vanier
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: REL012000
Publisher: House of Anansi Press Inc.
Published: 2008-07-01T04:00:00+00:00

The Heart

The heart, the metaphorical heart, the basis of all relationships, is what is deepest in each one of us. It is my heart that bonds itself to another heart; it leads us out of the restricted belonging, which creates exclusion, to meet and love others just as they are. A little child is only heart; he thrives off relationships; his joy is in relationships; he grows through relationships. When he is in communion with someone he trusts, he is safe, he is someone, someone unique and important. He is thus empowered, for the rest of his life, to be open to others, and to bring this sense of empowerment into his work.

To work means to be energetic, strong, and active, cooperating with others. Communion means to be vulnerable and tender; it means opening one’s heart and sharing one’s hopes and pain, even all that is failure or brokenness.

If my heart is broken, I can quickly feel crushed and fall into depression, unable to work. Or, I may refuse all relationships and throw myself savagely into work. If my heart is fulfilled, it will shine through my work.

We’ve all seen the transforming power of love. The most hardened, embittered person sees themselves and sees life in a new way when they fall in love and when they know that they are loved. It is easy to recognize a man or a woman in love. Aggressive or depressive tendencies seem to disappear. They move towards a gentle openness. Instead of protecting themselves behind barriers, they make themselves open and welcoming. A new freedom, kindness, and tenderness become evident.

My point is that a human being is more than the power or capacity to think and to perform. There is a gentle person of love hidden in the child within each adult. The heart is the place where we meet others, suffer, and rejoice with them. It is the place where we can identify and be in solidarity with them. Whenever we love, we are not alone. The heart is the place of our “oneness” with others.

The way of the heart implies a choice. We can choose to take this path and to treat people as people and not just as machines. We can see the cook in a hotel simply as somebody who is paid to cook well or as a person with a heart, who has children, and who might be living painful relationships and is in need of understanding and kindness. To treat each person as a person means that we are concerned for them, that we listen to them, and love them and want them to become more whole, free, truthful, and responsible.

To speak of the heart is not to speak of vaguely defined emotions but to speak of the very core of our being. At the core, we all know we can be strengthened and rendered more truthful and more alive. Our hearts can become hard like stone or tender like flesh. We have to create situations where our hearts can be fortified and nourished.

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